Because You Can't Mail Children

I went into the post office accompanied by several children, ages 10 to 13.  We waited patiently in line until it was our turn.  When we stepped up to that weird high post office counter, the lady politely asked, "What can I help you with today?"  So friendly.  I replied, "I'd like to mail these to Indiana.  Preferably overnight.  How much does that cost?"  She looked all confused and was like, "Mail what?"  I rolled my eyes (only in my head, though, because it's rude to actually roll your eyes at people, even if they are being obtuse) and waved my hand back toward the gaggle of children behind me. "These," I replied patiently.  "I need to get these guys to Indiana.  They don't have to be there until June, and like I said, overnight is preferable.  I'm just trying to find out how much it will cost so we can budget accordingly."  That's when her face got all funny and she quietly suggested I leave the post office.  That's pretty much how it played out at the UPS store too.  You'd think with a name like Goin' Postal, they'd be more understanding.  What's wrong with people?  We should all be so budget-minded.  That's what I think.

So now that it looks like mailing children is not an option (I have yet to ask Fed Ex, but I can't really see it going any better.) we still have to find that original $10,000 we're trying to come up with to send them to the Future Problem Solvers International thing in Indiana.  (click here for a refresher:  http://whatelainasays.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-clown-fish-is-winner.html)  If you want to help these brilliant kids (seriously, you guys, they are way smarter than me) get to the international competition in Indiana, there are a few ways you can donate. The first one involves a smartphone.  Scan this QR code:

And then download the snap.tap.give app.  It's free and super easy.  The suggested donation is $5, but you can go all the way down to $1 and presumably all the way up to about Johnny Depp's salary.  Totally up to you.  Another option is to send money via PayPal to fundraiser.wflfps@gmail.com.  And if none of these work for you, comment me, and I will get you an address where you can do it old school (send a check via snail mail).  The donations are totally tax deductible, and they come not only with our undying gratitude, they also come with a list of dares and do-goods - things I will do if we reach certain donation goals.  Here's the list:

$100 - I eat something gross (calf fries, chocolate-covered crickets, stuff like that)

$200 - I donate a morning at a soup kitchen

$300 - I dye my hair purple

$400 - I volunteer a day at the Sea Turtle Preservation Society helping our cute little shelled friends live quality lives

$500 - I ride the next mechanical bull I see

$10,000 - I get a pink flamingo tattoo (the Florida Future Problem Solvers logo is a pink flamingo)

You may have noticed that there is a gap in that list.  $600-$9900 are missing "challenges" because I'm out of ideas.  I thought of alligator wrestling scuba diving with sharks, but while I'm totally down, those things are expensive and that sort of defeats our purpose.  Please feel free to comment with your suggestions.

I will take pictures and post them so you know I really did the things I promised.

Thanks, y'all!  And as always, much love.

Sacrificing Some of My Time and A Lot of My Dignity for a Great Cause

Hey howdy hey, friends!  This is my first entry in this new blog o' mine.  I've created this as a more family-friendly version of my other blog, but you can still get to that one here:  http://whatelainasays.blogspot.com/

It can get colorful on that side of the rainbow, though, so if that bothers you at all, you might want to stick around over here.  I will always provide links to friendly entries that get posted over there, so you don't have to worry that you're missing out.

The main reason for the birth of this blog is that I needed an "everyone" way to communicate with, well, everyone.  If you are a regular reader, you probably know about my son's recent accomplishment through the Florida Future Problem Solvers.  If you need to catch up on that, click here:  
Yes, the fish.  Click on the fish.  For a quick refresher (the Elaina's Notes), my son entered a writing submission, and won first place in the state junior division for the Florida Future Problem Solvers, a program he participates in through the gifted program at his school. His group also did well in the state group competitions, and now the entire group is going to the international competition for Future Problem Solvers International in Indiana in June.  Yes, y'all - international.  As in, we are representing the mosquito state to all the rest of the world.   I know, right?  Way cool.  Future Problem Solvers is this incredible organization that provides scholarships and unbelievable opportunities to amazing kids, the true leaders of your future and mine.  Seriously, they hold our tomorrow in the palm of their young hands.  And this, my friends, is an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime chance for many of these kids.

You ready for the catch?  Aw, come on.  You had to know it was coming.  For transportation and lodging and all competition related expenses, it's gonna cost our group of kids roughly $10,000.  It gets better.  We have about two months to raise the money.  Now, our brilliant and industrious youth are going to work hard washing cars and baking goodies to sell, but I don't know if we can wash enough or bake enough to cover all this.  This is where my shameless promoting comes in.  I believe in each of these kids, and I want them to have an unbelievable experience in all this.  Unfortunately, I'm fresh out of $10,000 bills, so I'm resorting to the blog equivalent of panhandling.  I've signed up our group with a great little website called getgoodkarmanow.com (they are fabulous!).  It's a service that let's you collect donations via smartphone using a QR code.  You can donate as much or as little as you want, and I'll post the QR code in my blog so you can donate if you're so moved.  The suggested gift is $5.00, but feel free to donate more or less.  Anything you can give is greatly appreciated.  Simply use your phone's QR reader app to scan this little nugget, and follow the instructions.  Yes, it's that easy.  No smart phone, and you're still feeling generous?  That's so sweet!  You can donate through PayPal.  The donation email address is fundraiser.wflfps@gmail.com.  Just comment below, and I'll let you know how you can still help.  Your tax deductible donations will go to sending our group of brilliant boys and girls all the way to Indiana University in Bloomington, IN for the most tremendous educational experience of their lives.  Can't give money?  We totally accept Karma, so thank you in advance for your good vibes.

This is what you scan to donate, guys.

When you scan the QR code, you'll have to download an app in order to donate, so it's not as easy as texting "give" to some 5-digit number, but it's still not that difficult, right?

But wait!  There's more!  You didn't think there wouldn't be something in it for you, did you? (besides the warm, fuzzy feeling deep down in your heart)  No, sir, I'm taking care of that.  See, for each $100 we receive in donations, I'll give something in return.  Here's how it goes:

$100 - I'll eat calf fries. (or chocolate covered crickets if y'all like that better)
$200 - I'll volunteer a morning at a soup kitchen.
$300 - I'll dye my hair purple and/or blue (at The Shore Salon in Cocoa Beach. Mad props to Mike, my hair guy, for the great job he does.)
$400 - I'll volunteer a day at the Sea Turtle Preservation Society, snuggling sea turtles and stuff. 
$500 - I'll ride a mechanical bull.
$10,000 - I'll get a tattoo of a pink flamingo (the Florida Future Problem Solvers logo).

Those are all the ideas I have for now.  As the dollar amounts get higher, the stuff I do will get better.  I welcome your ideas (but please, oh please, dear readers - keep them ethical, legal, affordable, and totally appropriate).  Just post them in the comments, and I will give it serious consideration.  My son wants me to karaoke Ice Ice Baby, but people, there is probably NO amount of money to compel me to do that.  Please let me also clarify, I will not be able to run right out and snarf some calf fries the minute we hit $100.  Patience is a virtue, y'all, and it may take some time to fit some of that stuff into my schedule.  But I do promise I will do it all in a timely manner (weeks, not months), and in order of achievement.

I will take pictures to prove it really happened and post them here along the way.  If you can't donate, you can still check it out to catch the fun, and if you can pass the word, I would forever appreciate it.  Feel free to pass me around.  Share my blog on Facebook, Twitter, the Ellen show, the side of your car, wherever.

P.S.  If you've already made a donation, thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times over!